Purpose
I am obsessed with finding purpose and meaning in life, especially my life. I’m always looking at something external to give my life a purpose. The one thing I’ve figured out about purpose is that it has to be something bigger than yourself. Meaning it has to be more than a personal selfish pursuit. And I thought I was on the path of that purpose until life socked me in the face and pulled the proverbial rug from under me. Even in the midst of that I thought I’d found a reason but it also proved to be meaningless.
Finally I came to the point where I believed all of life is meaningless. There is no reason for me to continue living. No reason to be good. No reason to really care. No reason to help others because they are basically hopeless unless they help themselves. And this was a torturous valley. As true as it seemed, I couldn’t accept it to be absolute. So I prayed that God would give me some purpose, some reason to live. I just needed one thing that I could point to and say, “That is why I’m alive.”
Then it hit me. I’ve been too concerned with searching for something within this world, some external reason that was going to give me that reason and will to live in spite of whatever aridity I found in the misery surrounding existence. I was looking in the wrong place. The only reason I need for living is to live for God. He created me and he wills me to live until the day he takes my life. I need no other reason than Him to get up every morning. As I open my eyes each day I can pray, “God, you created me for a purpose, you gave me life and you willed me to live another day. I don’t know what your plan is for my life. I don’t know why you’ve allowed my life to take the path it has. But I do know you are the almighty God, in control of everything, your very essence is love, and you haven’t made a mistake in creating me exactly how I am. That is sufficient for me to live today with purpose, trusting that you will provide those things which give my life meaning and fulfillment.”
