impinged

Revelation 21:18 - The material of the wall was jasper…
Revelation 21:19 - … the first foundation stone was jasper…

In describing the new heaven, the apostle John tells of how the walls, foundation, and streets are made of precious stones and metals. One of these stones is jasper. Jasper is a beautiful stone but also a pretty common one. I was given a piece of jasper a week ago as a reminder of heaven and the promises we have as Christians. I decided to put it in my pocket and carry it every day with me. Whenever I put my hand in my pocket and feel the stone I’m reminded of heaven. I’m also reminded of something else…

When our Lord Jesus Christ taught us how to pray he said we ought to pray, “Your will be done on earth as it is in Heaven.” God’s will is always done in heaven. To me that means that when his will is done on earth, we have a little piece of heaven here on earth. With so much aridity filling this life it is nice to think we can have a little piece of heaven while we’re here. So that little piece of jasper in my pocket reminds me of heaven, and then it reminds me to pray that His will be done, and then I feel a little better knowing He is in control and I’ve got my little piece of heaven in my pocket, here on earth.

I’ve spent some time recently reading the stories of some famous biblical figures. Two in particular: Ruth and Joseph. Both had terrible things happen in their life. Joseph was sold by his brother’s into slavery and then betrayed by Potipher’s wife and thrown into prison for years. Ruth’s husband died leaving her in a land without her family and any way to support herself. Neither one of these situations were resolved quickly. Both Joseph and Ruth went through seasons of great distress. But they both had something in common: in spite of their circumstances they pressed on, doing what was right, and honoring God. After these seasons of suffering had sufficiently developed their character, God stepped in and changed everything. In an instant they were blessed and their lives were restored.

From this I think I’ve learned a valuable lesson as to how God works. He brings us through seasons of pain and suffering in order to salt our character. This season may seem to go on entirely too long for our liking, but on the other side there is great blessing. And that blessing comes in an instant. In an instant our lives can turn to a living hell, and it can stay that way for some time, but in an instant God reaches down and lifts us out… at the right instant.

I was working out last night and this song called Shine from the Newsboys started playing on my MP3 player. Now this wasn’t a surprise since I had loaded it on my MP3 player but for some reason the words really stood out to me last night. When the song finished I played it again and as I listened I just felt invigorated. As I listened to the chorus I was thinking that this is what I want for my life’s motto.

Again this morning I listened to the song twice in a row and again was invigorated. I just want people to look at me and wonder what I’ve got that they don’t, and I want that answer to be Jesus Christ. Here is the chorus I’m speaking of:

SHINE
MAKE ‘EM WONDER WHAT YOU’VE GOT
MAKE ‘EM WISH THAT THEY WERE NOT
ON THE OUTSIDE LOOKING BORED
SHINE
LET IT SHINE BEFORE ALL MEN
LET ‘EM SEE GOOD WORKS, AND THEN
LET ‘EM GLORIFY THE LORD

I am obsessed with finding purpose and meaning in life, especially my life. I’m always looking at something external to give my life a purpose. The one thing I’ve figured out about purpose is that it has to be something bigger than yourself. Meaning it has to be more than a personal selfish pursuit. And I thought I was on the path of that purpose until life socked me in the face and pulled the proverbial rug from under me. Even in the midst of that I thought I’d found a reason but it also proved to be meaningless.

Finally I came to the point where I believed all of life is meaningless. There is no reason for me to continue living. No reason to be good. No reason to really care. No reason to help others because they are basically hopeless unless they help themselves. And this was a torturous valley. As true as it seemed, I couldn’t accept it to be absolute. So I prayed that God would give me some purpose, some reason to live. I just needed one thing that I could point to and say, “That is why I’m alive.”

Then it hit me. I’ve been too concerned with searching for something within this world, some external reason that was going to give me that reason and will to live in spite of whatever aridity I found in the misery surrounding existence. I was looking in the wrong place. The only reason I need for living is to live for God. He created me and he wills me to live until the day he takes my life. I need no other reason than Him to get up every morning. As I open my eyes each day I can pray, “God, you created me for a purpose, you gave me life and you willed me to live another day. I don’t know what your plan is for my life. I don’t know why you’ve allowed my life to take the path it has. But I do know you are the almighty God, in control of everything, your very essence is love, and you haven’t made a mistake in creating me exactly how I am. That is sufficient for me to live today with purpose, trusting that you will provide those things which give my life meaning and fulfillment.”

Yes, impinged is back. This incarnation will be much more simple than previous versions. It will only be a blog - a place for me to journal. This is mainly for my own edification and lustration, but if you enjoy it then all the better.

I’m going to use the lyrics from a Coldplay song to start things off. Coldplay always seems to have a song that fits my melancholy.

Coldplay - The Hardest Part

And the hardest part
Was letting go not taking part
Was the hardest part
And the strangest thing
Was waiting for that bell to ring
It was the strangest start

I could feel it go down
Bittersweet I could taste in my mouth
Silver lining the clouds
Oh, and I,
I wish that I could work it out

And the hardest part
Was letting go not taking part
You really broke my heart
And I tried to sing
But I couldn’t think of anything
And that was the hardest part

I could feel it go down
You left the sweetest taste in my mouth
Silver lining the cloud
Oh, and I,
Oh, and I,
I wonder what it’s all about
I wonder what it’s all about

Everything I know is wrong
Everything I do it just comes undone
And everything is torn apart
Oh and that’s the hardest part
That’s the hardest part
Yeah, that’s the hardest part
That’s the hardest part